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Sunday, February 7, 2010
9:59 PM
i thought about this on the way home and i finally linked together what i said to why i did it and what i thought. really have thought processing difficulties:(. i want to eat dinner means i want to have a nice comfortable dinner. after a terribly long day at work, all i want is a proper meal, one i get to eat at my own pace and with people i'm comfortable with, and basically to enjoy my meal. you have no idea how rare it is to be able to eat like that. eating with people i dont know whether or not im far away or sitting at another table makes no difference, cos we're all still having dinner together right? and ignoring others and pretending not to see, we're still having dinner together right? and it was not like _ was annonying me so much that i walked away, i couldnt be bothered honestly, all i wanted was to have dinner, and eating alone actually felt more tempting (work has thought me to eat alone happily), although i didn't in the end. dinner with joyce was as good, been really a while since i last talked to her. i think the last time was stayover at my house last december. anyway, its not about me not compromising either, because growing up is full of it already, and i seriously needed to breathe. posts like these go into my lj, but i thought this needed some clearing up.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
11:25 PM
i hope after being out in the sun the whole of last saturday, all the MRSA virus has been killed. yay finished yet another round of 4 nights(: the Lord has been gracious. and especially during the magnet breakfast interview rubbish yesterday. they had to ask so manymany questions:( but thank God i only had to speak up twice! whoo. and because i was so tired from all that work yesterday (5 admissions, 1 transfer to high-d, 1 death) and had to go for breakfast still, i tripped and slipped down an entire flight of stairs at the station. and you know, natural reflex to hold onto stuff right, so i ended up randomly scratching and grabbing the shirt of the guy next to me, aiyo>< i was so embarassed when i finally steadied myself, think i gave him quite a scare. but okay at least he recovered fast enough to grab my arm lest i land on my butt. and he turned out to be my secondary school ex-head counsellor senior haha who is also my neighbour (he stays 2 blocks away) although he doesn't know/recognise me:b. i havent done any cny shopping yet, although i don't know why i have to. but its okay i guess, at least i'll feel less guilty spending. lately i've been having these terrible stomach aches for hours on end:(. i'm trying to find a new bg image for my phone (time for a change) but i cant find any suitable. i think i've been using the current picture for a year now. time to sleep, gotta wake up in 4 hours!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
11:27 PM
been a while since i got so mad today. i literally started glaring at everyone the moment i got out from the staff toilet all the way till i met dor at queensway. i was ready to bite. good thing no one provoked me during that 30minutes, if not, :(i would have probably shouted and then destroy my testimony of the Lord. i was really pissed cos my ward sister forced me to stay back after work to listen to this new ADN give a stupid talk on magnet (some silly nursing accreditation). everyone else who had something on got to leave except me, all because i would be involved in it. like i chose to be!! seriously la, want me to stay back can, but at least let me know beforehand la, not on the day itself when people has already made plans right. and i was so mad and so late i walked so fast i nearly fell. my body was moving forward faster then my legs could take me. :(so now i have 2 very sore knees. and my roster for this week changed. and i didnt even know until i happened to look at it today. ugh. and so as i walked to meet dor, i thought of how late i would eventuallybe and also started to perspire and got sticky under the unbearable scorching hot sun and therefore got angrier and my face got a shade darker every minute. the anger just kept building up, i think if any of you saw me none of you would come within the radius of 20m around me man. thinking back, i really had nothing better to do than to waste my energy on ridiculous things. should have just walked out of the room the moment 335pm arrived. would have saved me a whole lot of energy. sheesh.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
9:11 AM
yay done with my 4 nights:) thank God for grace and strength, for great company and much rest. haha first time i got to nap for about 30-45minutes during shift yay. and i was the junior!! heehee it was so much less mentally draining that i managed to stay pretty alert and awake despite sleeping for about 7 hours in the day. usually when i'm in-charge at night, 10 hours of sleep in the day will still be insufficient. if all rounds of nights are like that i'll request for perm night already man. 500$/mth more for doing nothing, whoo! but yeah, i hardly go out. and i realised i haven't seen my sister since, sunday at sgbf. on another happy note, my planner came! on the way home from work just now i was still wondering why its taking so long to arrive, and was already thinking up a complain email. and the planner's really pretty i can't quite bare to use it haha. okie dokes, i need to sleep night, nights world!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
1:04 AM
Psalm 143 1: Hear my prayer, O LORD, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness. 2: And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified. 3: For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead. 4: Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate. 5: I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands. 6: I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah. 7: Hear me speedily, O LORD: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit. 8: Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. 9: Deliver me, O LORD, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me. 10: Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. 11: Quicken me, O LORD, for thy name's sake: for thy righteousness' sake bring my soul out of trouble. 12: And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant. |